I'm not running tonite.... The second day after the 12 miler..My right ankle is still quite sore and I actually shouldn't be runing on it anyway. But that is not my problem.
I feel a let down as my year started strong with a solid battle plan because of surgery it would have pretty much ended a couple weeks ago. I spent most of the summer thinking about X-country running and was dissapointed when I realized I would not be able to run the 12 miler at bradbury or possibly a second marathon in October.
The surgey was moved up and I got to run the Bruiser. The lead up was constantly on my mind and every workout related to running longer X-country type runs....I could justify the ways and means of my runs and cross training with the 12 miler on my mind.
Now it is behind me and I feel I havn't finished. Yeah, I didn't get the chance to be fullfilled. Isn't that odd? I ran the 12 that I thought I wouldn't be able to and instead of appreciating the chance to participate, I am instead let down.
Is it because I havn't been able to run for the last couple days? Or perhaps because I wasn't able to get 100% satisfaction from the race? I guess I expected a higher peak of emotion like finishing with a huge bang...the final race.
I put in all I had and finished strong. I formulated a late battle plan in leu of my condition and followed it perfectly. I did everything just the way I knew I could with my trining at the time. So why am I not satisfied?
I guess it boils down to the fact that the climax is now in the past and there is nothing immediate to concentrate on. I think I remember feeling this way after the marathon but I am not sure.
This time is different in one way as I will not be able to run this fall. SO I feel part of my life is missing. Is runing that important? Or am I feeling an adiction?
Is it possible that running is my drug of choice and now that it is sidelined, I am feeling the backlash?
I will probably run tomorrow if my ankle feels well enough. Perhaps after that I will feel better. I had a chance to run on a new trail Saturday, I have plans and can't make it. The plans are quite fun and I usually am excited to play in a golf tournement ......but I find myself thinking about the missed run... is there something wrong with that? My wife thinks so.